PseudoPod 1004: Madame Painte: For Sale
Madame Painte: For Sale
By John Langan
“This?” the man behind the counter says. “Why, this is Madame Painte.”
The figure is short, a foot and a half tall, and squat, about the same dimensions across, composed of what might be porcelain. The face is round, the eyes squeezed shut by the wide smile lifting the cheeks. A pointed hat fails to conceal the pointed tips of the figure’s ears. It wears a long apron dress over a peasant blouse. A somewhat typical garden gnome, you think, except for the colors, from which it obviously derives its name. It’s been painted without regard for the margins of clothing and skin. Black, green, and orange slash down the figure from right to left. The face is mostly dark green, the hat orange mixed with black. A splash of white paint traverses the closed eyes; the effect is less a mask and more a piece of webbing. You saw the figure sitting to the left of the door to the antique shop as you walked up the path to it and were so struck by its remarkable grotesquerie that you lifted and carried it inside, setting it on the front counter. On the way, you read the notecard strung to the top of the hat: MUST BE KEPT OUTSIDE.
“I didn’t mean its name,” you start.
“Of course not,” the man says. He’s on the small side, more wiry than slender. Based on the ratio of salt to pepper in his mustache and hair, he’s somewhere in the deep middle of middle age. He says, “You meant the warning.”
“Must be kept outside,” you read. “Why must?”
“The official reason is, she’s covered in lead paint.”
You step back from the counter, wipe your hands on your jeans. “There’s an unofficial reason?”
“There’s a story,” the man says. “Would you like to hear it? It’s brief.” (Continue Reading…)
